10.21

strangeness for i should cry for someone i barely know
my grandpa, ricky
they come free, uninhibited these tears
yet im numb, sincerely
without any disrespect.

a certain sadness but yet detached

In memory of Ricky

Deaths do not register with me.
It is almost surreal, even as they lay there.
Crying a lil here and there, when realization breaks through the denial.
That you'll never hear or feel, be of them as they of you any more again.
All there is are memories, that you once shared -
it is the moment that mattered, that space of time that filled you with utmost joy
unimaginable now for it has passed
but at the very least...we have had it, no - we still have it.

when ur own father talks behind ur back
berating you for things undone, but u did
things done, but u didnt!
hey! I cried cuz once again i inch a lil closer to feeling
he would lose his childish act, that jus i had once love unconditionally
he hates me.
remember girl remember.
set your heart in stones, fly away with it
dont allow flowers and pretty lil things
these shitmucks of illusion grow over it by staying here

why the fuck do i get angry? n bothered.
i swear to set my lil bloody pulp of a heart so manananaany times to stone didnt I?

ogling sensations

Kawasaki KSR110

as excited as a 5yr old

Sachs Madass 125cc Germany

NP6-D 125cc

NP6-S 125cc

ruckus / zoomer 50cc

both Ruckus and NP6s are honda's products

anyways i rode on my father's phantom and as someone said

"Some people experience in one minute on two wheels what others can't experience on four wheels in a lifetime" im an addict. damn if only i was bigger ill have more choices =( like the scrambler!!

of certain friendships

for every phase in friendships there will always be a time when the familiarity of old habits once tolerable becomes undone, the accumulation of lil acts once one was able to compromise with readily prick on each nerves that has suddenly become one too sensitive. and then the doubtful self starts to wonder if there were more behind every words uttered, and an unreasonable anger surfaces. Be it true or untrue this paranoia eats the individual up, even though one might still truly understand the reasoning behind the action of their beloved, the doubt lingers. And so, the relationship once so open becomes shrouded in doubts. The virtue of trust, once unspoken and known through the miracles of friendship itself...to be continued...

0131

small eyes pink cheeks detestably lovely
a change invoked; a coolness ripples
the dead rises